For Men: Protect Your Health by Protecting Your Marriage


A study published online two days ago (in advance of the journal’s printing) offers one more reason for men to Assume Love, Expect Love, and Find Third Alternatives: better health. Everyone’s heard that married men are healthier than unmarried and divorced men, but this study offers a bit more detail. Once they reach middle age or older (when ailments begin to increase), only men with...

Did I Marry the Wrong Person?


Some people manage to marry a skunk. The rest of asking this question keep mistaking guinea pigs, ground hogs, and even rabbits for skunks. Here’s the difference. A few spouses, male and female but usually male, congratulate themselves on acquiring a slave without the usual financial, social, and legal costs of such an arrangements. Instead of the lash, they may use misappropriated lines...

Are Your Prescriptions Messing with Your Marriage?


Fascinating research findings: Naltrexone reduces feelings of social connection – naltrexone (Revia, Vivitrol), used in the treatment of alcohol or opioid dependence, reduces feelings of closeness with our spouses and close friends. While you’re taking this important medication, make a commitment to your marriage and your friendships instead of relying on your feelings. Watch Your...

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The Meaning of I Love You, But I’m Not in Love With You


I received a wonderful comment this weekend from Duane on my 2012 post, One Last Stand Before Divorce. After 24 years of marriage, his wife left for her mother’s house. She said she loved Duane but was no longer in love with him. He found this blog, Assumed Love, made a bunch of changes, and three months later, he says, “We spent the whole day together and at the end of the day she...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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