When one of you is laid off or seriously ill or grieving a parent’s recent death, both of you get stressed. So does your relationship. Choose carefully how to deal with each other. The last thing you need right now is to do a kindness for the other that gets rejected or sneered at. If your husband or wife is working extra hours to make up for your loss of income, it’s kind to take on...
When you’re in a marriage, you cannot ever win a fight with your husband or wife by shouting louder, being tricky, offering more rational explanations of your side, or marshaling friends and relatives to agree with your point of view. You cannot win by causing the person you married to lose. The only way to win is to make sure both of you come out the other side pleased with the outcome...
Does it make sense sometimes to give in on a difficult disagreement, just to keep the peace? Sure. If it will keep the peace.
But peace is not measured only in loud words, slammed doors, and angry muttering. It is most harmed by silent resentment.
Never say yes if you’re not OK with the results.
Keep looking for that Third Alternative.
If you have always thought you’re winning when you get your way and losing when you don’t, you will need to change your perspective to enjoy being married. If you go along to get along when you disagree with your spouse, you know it puts a little extra distance between the two of you. It’s harder to feel close when you’ve just agreed to something you actually disagree with...
I had an interesting chat with someone today that led me to think about all the moral differences couples encounter and how they handle them. If you’re in an arranged marriage, there is a good chance your relatives thoroughly checked out your spouse’s morals before you married. And maybe they even knew which ones truly mattered to you. If not, you probably fell in love before you even...
