Going to the Store to Buy Gum


We lost John Glenn this week. So did his wife, Annie. What a pair! Although she had a really difficult time handling daily life on her own until someone finally gave her a cure for her communication-crippling stutter at age 53, Annie sent her husband Glenn off on at least 149 combat missions in two wars, numerous high-altitude test flights, the first ever American orbit around the earth when he...

I Support My Spouse, So Why Is My Dinner Late?


“I work hard for my money, so my wife doesn’t need to work. She’s free to stay home and do as she pleases, as long as the house is clean and dinner’s ready when I get home.” “I always thought we’d retire together, but my husband took early retirement when it was offered and now I can’t afford to do the same. He’s not working. Why can’t...

Reviving a Boring Marriage


Sometimes, the only thing wrong with a near-dead, boring marriage is whatever’s wrong with your life. And divorce can’t fix that. Marriages need novelty: new things to talk about, new things to do together, new reasons to savor the best moments of our past together. Overwork, depression, an empty nest, or a new baby can all put us into lockstep mode. So much focus is required just to...

Checking Out Other Women, Porn, and Romantic Comedies


I received a wonderful request in a comment from Marie yesterday on my 2012 post, Avoid Pretending to Feel Loved When You Do Not. Marie asked for “advice on how to manage your own insecurities, while granting your spouse liberty to engage in harmless pleasures, such as: appreciating individuals of the opposite sex and not judging occasional encounters with porn.” She provided more...

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Bathroom Battles


What drives you nuts in the bathroom you share with your spouse? What problems did you have at first that you’ve found a clever solution to? Pantyhose in the shower? Wasting water? Not replacing the empty toilet paper roll? Leaving wet towels on the floor? I’m sure there are a million more. It’s a funny thing about bathrooms. We learn about them when we’re so young. The...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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