Who put the government in charge of marriage? Why do we need a license to marry? Why do we need a judge to divorce? In the US and quite possibly every other country, the government decides who is married and who is not. And it really doesn’t care whether you love each other, only whether you make a commitment that benefits your fellow citizens. In return, it offers you two some benefits and...
Why Be Married? For the Family
I’ll be gathering with my first husband’s family in a few weeks to celebrate the life of my sister-in-law, who died the same week as my mother earlier this year. It has me thinking about marriage and families. A few months after I met Rod, we drove across the continent to meet his family. The next year, they flew to us for our wedding. We were married for thirteen years before he died...
Why Be Married? To Be More You
The other day, I was watching a young woman in my neighborhood. She was obviously on inline skates for the first time ever: wobbling badly, wearing a helmet, and displaying that perfect mixture of fear and joy on her face and in the wonderful sounds she was making. Her mate was running beside her, keeping up, providing a supportive hand on her forearm and calling out plenty of coaching tips. And...
Why I Write this Blog
It’s so good to back online. I was starting to think the blog would never work again. Since the end of January, comments and adding new posts has not worked. After a lot of wrong turns throughout a very busy year, it’s great to be back! I thought I would resume by telling you why I have been writing this blog for 13 years. And it’s the same reason I wore an Urban League...
Why Be Married? It Has Nothing to Do with the Wedding
Today, I read a sad Insider essay by Danielle Campoamor. She titled it “My partner and I have been together for 4 years — here’s why we will never get married.” I felt awful for Danielle. She’d been raised with two parents, a violently abusive father and a mother who put up with the abuse for twenty years before she divorced him. Not a great way to learn about love...