CategoryWhy be married?

Why Be Married? To Be More You


The other day, I was watching a young woman in my neighborhood. She was obviously on inline skates for the first time ever: wobbling badly, wearing a helmet, and displaying that perfect mixture of fear and joy on her face and in the wonderful sounds she was making. Her mate was running beside her, keeping up, providing a supportive hand on her forearm and calling out plenty of coaching tips. And...

Why I Write this Blog


It’s so good to back online. I was starting to think the blog would never work again. Since the end of January, comments and adding new posts has not worked. After a lot of wrong turns throughout a very busy year, it’s great to be back! I thought I would resume by telling you why I have been writing this blog for 13 years. And it’s the same reason I wore an Urban League...

Why Be Married? It Has Nothing to Do with the Wedding


Today, I read a sad Insider essay by Danielle Campoamor. She titled it “My partner and I have been together for 4 years — here’s why we will never get married.” I felt awful for Danielle. She’d been raised with two parents, a violently abusive father and a mother who put up with the abuse for twenty years before she divorced him. Not a great way to learn about love...

Why Be Married? To Die in Each Other’s Arms


I loved this story on People Magazine’s website. Jeanette and Alexander Toczko met when they were both 8 years old, married 13 years later, and were buried together on their 75th anniversary last week. They were crazy about each other from the start, and they long hoped they would someday die in each other’s arms. They grew up in Connecticut, just outside New York City. They worked in...

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Why Be Married? For the Stress Relief


Some very surprising research results were reported last month. They offered some pretty strong evidence of a real difference between marriage and living together. And it doesn’t come from the marriage license or the religious ceremony. It comes from thinking of yourselves as married. The research was reported at the 2014 annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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