If your otherwise loving marriage has been a bit disappointing lately, try this: share wishes, not complaints. A wish is an opportunity for your spouse to earn that delicious feeling of acting lovingly, knowing it will be received well. You get no guarantee that they’ll notice the opportunity or act on it, because you might not be the only partner nursing a disappointment. But it’s...
Marriage Basics
I thought today I might review some of the well-established basics for a healthy marriage. 1. No Terrorism Never, ever cause your spouse physical harm or fear to get your way. No choking, shooting, hitting, punching, pinching, imprisonment, abandonment, or destitution. And no threats of any of these, either. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their own home and in their marriage. 2. Avoid...
Anniversary Gifts
June brings lots of anniversaries. If you’re wondering how to let your husband or wife feel your love, I want to help. Q. If I take my wife away for a just-us weekend, do I also need an anniversary gift? A. Etiquette does not apply to a marriage. Neither does the opinion of any other woman you know or even a survey of 3,057 women you did not marry. All that matters is this: does your wife...
Valentine’s Day? Lean In!
I was surprised by my sadness right after the birth of my only child. Such a beautiful moment, but I felt like I had lost something. My husband and I had no preference for a girl or a boy, so we did not ask which it would be in advance. However, in those last two weeks of waiting, we both became convinced it was a girl, and we began calling our overripe belly bump Sara. When our gorgeous, healthy...
How to Have More Interesting Dinner Conversations
Dinner with your spouse is a great time to deepen your connection. Here are some tips for making those conversations more engaging. Respond positively whenever your spouse seeks your attention the rest of the day through comments like “Look at that bird!” (“Ooh, wow” is plenty, as long as you look in the bird’s direction) or “I can’t find my keys”...