Assume Love

How to have a happier marriage without waiting for your spouse to change

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How to Have a Happier Marriage Starting Today

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I have been thinking a lot lately about all of the friends and loved ones of mine who have died. I’m sure I was annoyed or even really angry at most of them at some point. But this is not what I remember. I remember what they taught me about how to make the world a better place. Some lit up a room with their smiles. They were the same people who showed me how to ask the right questions to...

What Should a Spouse Do?

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“My husband should eat better; I don’t want him to have a second heart attack.” “My wife should cook our meals and clean up after them; after all, I go to work everyday to support the two of us and our children.” “My spouse should speak kindly to me; Words of Affirmation is my Love Language, and I make an effort to come up with plenty of Acts of Service.”...

Want a Better Marriage?

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The quality of a marriage is not so much the result of what our spouses do as how we see it. Imagine you’re married. A few nights ago, when your wife asked you about your favorite childhood gifts, you could remember none of them. What you remembered was the delicious pancake breakfast on the morning of every one of your birthdays. Those were special, you told your wife, a professional...

Let’s See How HE Likes It!

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It seems to be a natural human instinct to turn the Golden Rule on its head and do unto others what we really did not like them doing to us. He left you waiting in a restaurant for 20 minutes? Surely he will straighten up and fly right if you show up late for the next thing he schedules. She rejects your foreplay? Just show her who’s boss by refusing to kiss her, hug her, or hold hands with...

For marriage book reviews and books by Patty Newbold, the author of Assume Love, visit:
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When Your Spouse Won’t Help

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You’re overwhelmed. You need help. And, of course, it seems only fair and right and loving that the person you married should provide that help. But it doesn’t happen. You invited both families to a holiday dinner, but nothing went right in the kitchen, and nothing’s set up yet in the dining room. You holler for a helping hand and get told that your loving mate is taking care of...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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