You’re overwhelmed. You need help. And, of course, it seems only fair and right and loving that the person you married should provide that help. But it doesn’t happen. You invited both families to a holiday dinner, but nothing went right in the kitchen, and nothing’s set up yet in the dining room. You holler for a helping hand and get told that your loving mate is taking care of...
Some of us are natural-born planners. Some of us are natural-born worriers. I am both. Perhaps you, too, are the sort of person who makes lists of criteria and starts calling housekeeping services weeks in advance of when you’ll need them. Or the sort who vets enough babysitters to know whom you will call if your favorite is not available on your birthday. Or the sort who gets an idea to...
My second of three journals has been published. This one is for anyone feeling disappointed or frustrated by their husband or wife. Are your needs going unmet? Do you feel you’re trying harder than your spouse? Are you carrying too much of the load in your marriage? Did you expect a gift you did not get? Loved: A Journal to Bring Joy to Any Marriage with Dashed Expectations and Unmet Needs...
I’ve been asked what to look for when choosing a spouse. Which relationship is likely to last longer, one with someone similar to me (same race, culture, language, education, hobbies, lifestyle) or someone different? The answer has a lot to do with Expectations and how well you handle them. The more alike you two are, the more your expectations about marriage will turn out to be valid...
Earlier this week, I read an op ed essay by Kim Brooks in the New York Times that made me ache. I could not stop thinking about it for the last 24 hours. The title claimed you’re in good company if you’re considering a Covid-19 Pandemic divorce, but that was not what the piece was about. It concludes that we’re not meant for nuclear families, and so Kim consoles herself and her...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
