CategoryMarriage problems

My Wife Says She’s Leaving Me

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Women initiate more divorces than men do. The words “I’m leaving you” can be a complete shock, especially if you’ve been just coasting in your relationship. What should you do next? This depends on what you’re thinking. She can’t leave me! I won’t let her. If these are your first thoughts, you’re in a very dangerous spot, and your first step must be...

When Your Spouse Won’t Use Your Love Language

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I’m sure you have heard of Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. Lots of us have read the book. Others have learned the languages from magazine articles or workshops. If you and your husband or wife share a Love Language, it’s easy to show your love for each other. For the rest of us, there is a giant pitfall you might want to avoid. If you expect your spouse to use your Love...

What Did You Say?!

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A reader recently asked me a question, and I expect she’s not the only one asking. I have been watching couples/friends get into arguments they didn’t want to get into, simply because the discussion began on the wrong foot. Instead of asking an open ended question, e.g., “It seems cleaning up after dinner is a task neither of us wants to do. I wonder how we can solve this...

The Fairness Balance in Marriage

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You know that feeling when you feel so generous to your spouse? When everything you do for your spouse or give to your spouse makes you feel even better about your marriage? And that feeling when you take score and wonder if you would be better off if you two just divorced? For example, when your mate was too tired or busy to mow the lawn but still expects you to prepare dinner? Why not take...

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Annoying In-laws

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Do your in-laws show up unannounced at all the wrong times? Do they demand to share all of your vacations? When your spouse is not around, do they criticize you or order you around? When your children are around, do they undermine you? It can help to see things through their eyes. A long time ago, a tiny infant was placed in their care. They were charged with keeping this tiny child safe and fed...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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