CategoryHow to Assume Love

The Alcohol Explanation


When you Assume Love and ask how a truly loving husband, wife, or life partner could say those words, spend that money, or get that violent, beware of the alcohol explanation. Many people are quicker to anger and less diplomatic in their ways of expressing it when they drink. Most, however, cannot violate their own moral code even when drunk. If they would protect your college fund or your...

Burnt Peas


How easy it is to get bent out of shape over burnt peas. There you are, waiting for your dinner, and suddenly you smell them scorching. Once even one is scorched, it’s pretty much too late to rescue them. And now the giant wheel of fortune begins its wild spin. Where will it land for you? I feel so bad for my mate. What an awful, last-minute thing to happen while cooking dinner. Oy! How...

Love Cannot Explain


When we Assume Love, we do it to help us look for alternate explanations for an upsetting incident. Finding them helps us bounce back emotionally and often grow closer to our spouses. Some things, though, cannot be explained as the acts of a loving person with a sound mind. Among them: Putting your freedom, food, or shelter in jeopardy by committing felony acts, spending more than disposable...

Avoid Pretending to Feel Loved When You Do Not


Here’s my take on how to enjoy being married. You don’t work on the relationship. You work on enjoying it. Remember when you enjoyed it? Remember when you were thrilled about getting married? Remember those times you felt so close and so in love that you spent half the day thinking of ways to delight your mate? It wasn’t work then, was it? Well, that’s what I mean when I...

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From Furious to Deeply in Love


I received a wonderful email this morning from a new reader. She had reached out on Tuesday for help with a situation that infuriated her. Things had gone from bad to awful in the course of a couple hours. She sounded very doubtful whether she could bear a lifetime with her man. I explained how to Assume Love. And how to avoid pretending she felt loved when she did not. Today, she wrote...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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