CategoryHow to Assume Love

Love Cannot Explain

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When we Assume Love, we do it to help us look for alternate explanations for an upsetting incident. Finding them helps us bounce back emotionally and often grow closer to our spouses. Some things, though, cannot be explained as the acts of a loving person with a sound mind. Among them: Putting your freedom, food, or shelter in jeopardy by committing felony acts, spending more than disposable...

Avoid Pretending to Feel Loved When You Do Not

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Here’s my take on how to enjoy being married. You don’t work on the relationship. You work on enjoying it. Remember when you enjoyed it? Remember when you were thrilled about getting married? Remember those times you felt so close and so in love that you spent half the day thinking of ways to delight your mate? It wasn’t work then, was it? Well, that’s what I mean when I...

From Furious to Deeply in Love

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I received a wonderful email this morning from a new reader. She had reached out on Tuesday for help with a situation that infuriated her. Things had gone from bad to awful in the course of a couple hours. She sounded very doubtful whether she could bear a lifetime with her man. I explained how to Assume Love. And how to avoid pretending she felt loved when she did not. Today, she wrote...

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

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I’ll bet there is something you often want from your spouse but almost never get. For one woman I know, it’s gratitude. A thank you, maybe some clue that he understands how much he needs her. Assume Love and ask why someone would never say thank you to a person he loves dearly. Acknowledging the incredible value of the relationship takes a lot of guts unless you are certain it’s...

For marriage book reviews and books by Patty Newbold, the author of Assume Love, visit:
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How to Assume Love After a Long Day at Work

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In response to my recent post, Angry at Your Inconsiderate Husband or Wife?, I received this from “Sam.” I could definitely relate. It is harder to Assume Love when we’re frazzled. I am pretty good at doing this early in the day and in the middle of the day, it’s at the end of the day when I’m tired after a long day at work that I find I can’t ignore what I...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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