I received a wonderful email this morning from a new reader. She had reached out on Tuesday for help with a situation that infuriated her. Things had gone from bad to awful in the course of a couple hours. She sounded very doubtful whether she could bear a lifetime with her man. I explained how to Assume Love. And how to avoid pretending she felt loved when she did not. Today, she wrote...
I’ll bet there is something you often want from your spouse but almost never get. For one woman I know, it’s gratitude. A thank you, maybe some clue that he understands how much he needs her. Assume Love and ask why someone would never say thank you to a person he loves dearly. Acknowledging the incredible value of the relationship takes a lot of guts unless you are certain it’s...
In response to my recent post, Angry at Your Inconsiderate Husband or Wife?, I received this from “Sam.” I could definitely relate. It is harder to Assume Love when we’re frazzled. I am pretty good at doing this early in the day and in the middle of the day, it’s at the end of the day when I’m tired after a long day at work that I find I can’t ignore what I...
You’re rushing to prepare dinner for the family. You won’t be eating with them. You have an important meeting to attend. But it’s your responsibility to feed them, and you’re running late. The vegetable peeler is nowhere to be found. Not in the drawer. Not in the sink. Not hiding behind the chopping board someone left out. (And you know the kids don’t bother with...
Yesterday, in Part 4 of this series on how to explain a loving spouse doing something that upsets you, I wrote: “I am not talking here about pushing, shoving, hitting, cutting, damaging something especially dear to you, making remarks known to bring you to tears or render you helpless, or repeating angry outbursts or making threats until you fear being in the same room as your mate.”...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
