CategoryHow to Assume Love

Finding Sense


“Why doesn’t he lend a hand when I’m obviously overwhelmed?” “How could she spend money on this when we’re trying to save for a house?” “Why can’t he see the consequences of putting this off?” “What is she thinking when she leaves these here instead of putting them away?” In every marriage, good or bad, and quite frequently...

When to Leave


Yesterday, I wrote about how to handle the annoying things your husband does. For two of them, ones that put you in danger, I suggested leaving. Leaving is different from divorcing. Leaving is putting yourself out of harm’s way. It also puts your spouse out of harm’s way, preventing them from injuring or killing their spouse before they regain control over their mind and morals...

Why Your Husband Does Those Annoying Things He Does


Here are seven reasons why your husband does those annoying things he does: He has no idea it annoys you. It’s never occurred to him that burping during a meal or tossing underwear off with abandon or using baby talk to express affection could possibly even be seen as annoying. If he knew (well, if he knew and did not feel attacked for failing to read your mind or intuit social norms), he...

Changing Yourself


If you were to change yourself in some way, to face life differently, to develop a new habit or build a character strength, how would you want to do it? Would you prefer your mate tell you what he or she dislikes about you and the things you do so you can fix them? Or would you prefer to hear about you at your best and work to live up to your reputation? There is a good chance your husband, wife...

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Changing Your Spouse


It’s very difficult to change another person’s behavior. And it is next to impossible when done through criticism instead of agreement. If you look carefully, though, you may discover some very annoying things are done not to annoy you but to be with you. Or to love you the way he or she wants to be loved. Or to cope with stress that comes from earning money to share with you or doing...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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