Until a crisis erupts, it’s pretty easy to overlook many of the ways your spouse or life partner shows love for you. Pay attention to them now, and the crisis may never erupt. Which of these have you been receiving without noticing them? Trust for your driving, your fidelity while away from home, your care of the kids Respect when talking about you to others, asking your advice, relying on...
Good gifts make me feel loved. But they don’t have this effect on everyone. Some claim there is no good gift: if they really wanted something, they would have already bought it or made it. Others receive gifts and feel long, uncomfortable strings attached. They feel indebted, and almost no gift is special enough to welcome this feeling. People who cannot imagine a good gift or receive a...
How to make yourself unhappily married: expect anything other than love. Say you expect to hear “I love you” or “You look great today.” Lots of husbands and wives say such things, but yours doesn’t. Does this mean you are not loved or not admired? Probably not. But if you believe it does, you are going to be unhappy. You may be married to one of the millions of...
Lots of married folks try in vain to get their spouse or life partner to eat better, exercise more, or take their meds. It would surely be wonderful if you succeeded, but what’s happening while you’re waiting for this to happen? Your spouse, unable to do what seems so logical and healthy to do, feels he or she is not just failing at something important but simultaneously letting you...
There is no religious theme to Assume Love. While many of you who read it regularly are Christians, many are also Muslims, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, agnostics, and atheists. We all need and value loving relationships. I seldom link to other marriage blogs, because so many base their advice on scripture. I feel bad about this, because many link often to Assume Love and because social and...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
