Ever notice how much more lovable your husband, wife, or life partner is when life is going well for you? You smile, you get smiles back. You embrace and all is forgiven. You feel generous and in return you feel loved and appreciated. So why is it that when we’re having work problems or doing poorly at our attempts to lose weight or build muscle or finish a project, we criticize our mates...
I received a wonderful question today by email. It came from a woman engaged to be married to a man who (surprise, surprise!) does not do things the same way she does. She wants to know how to develop more trust in him. One of the things that makes it difficult to trust him is that, as she puts it, “[I] know things should be done a certain way to get them done correctly.” Ah...
Ever agree to let your spouse handle a purchase or take care of problem? And did you find yourself backseat driving? I am a huge backseat driver. I have a lot of trouble trusting my husband will get the job done, especially if his approach is not the one I would take. And it almost never is. We send such an awful message when we drop hints and ask for progress reports. We convey, “I...
I love this phrase, unnecessary divorce. Not a single one of us who has ever considered divorce thought ours was unnecessary. Not unless something convinced us to take another stab at loving the person we vowed to love—and we succeeded. How in the world can we tell, in the heat of our anger and fear and frustration, whether ours would be an unnecessary divorce? I have a way you might try...
What are you waiting for from your spouse? Are you waiting for more appreciation? More picking up after himself? More self-reliance when it comes to getting the computer and other electronics to work? Are you waiting for more foreplay? Less modesty in bed? Better meals? Some landscaping? Maybe weight loss? Or perhaps vacation planning? What would you do if you learned today for certain you will...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
