When you’re thinking others have a great marriage and yours is so-so or worse, what do you imagine a great marriage would feel like? I think a great marriage feels like swing dancing. It’s not static and unchanging. It’s being pushed away and pulled back with just the right tension in the bonds connecting you. It’s being wrapped in a hold then spun back out on your own...
While the kids were young, Tom earned most of the money he and Selena and their two girls lived on. Now that the girls are in middle school, Selena’s earning a bit more. For Tom, this feels like the ideal time to start his own business if he’s ever going to do it. If it fails, he can be back in someone else’s employ before the girls are applying to colleges. If it succeeds the...
Ever notice how much more lovable your husband, wife, or life partner is when life is going well for you? You smile, you get smiles back. You embrace and all is forgiven. You feel generous and in return you feel loved and appreciated. So why is it that when we’re having work problems or doing poorly at our attempts to lose weight or build muscle or finish a project, we criticize our mates...
I received a wonderful question today by email. It came from a woman engaged to be married to a man who (surprise, surprise!) does not do things the same way she does. She wants to know how to develop more trust in him. One of the things that makes it difficult to trust him is that, as she puts it, “[I] know things should be done a certain way to get them done correctly.” Ah...
Ever agree to let your spouse handle a purchase or take care of problem? And did you find yourself backseat driving? I am a huge backseat driver. I have a lot of trouble trusting my husband will get the job done, especially if his approach is not the one I would take. And it almost never is. We send such an awful message when we drop hints and ask for progress reports. We convey, “I...
