I was listening again today to bestselling author Barbara Sher talking about H levels. She advises everyone wondering what they were put on this earth for or what would make them happier to check them. When you see, hear, or taste something or picture yourself doing something, assign it an H level. On a scale from 1 (the lowest) to 10 (the highest), how happy does it make you? Pay attention to...
Many a marriage has unraveled over the issue of fairness. All we want is for our husbands and wives to do their fair share of the wage-earning, parenting, and chores, right? And it would be a mistake to overlook any shirking, no? No. I contend you cannot even measure your own share, no less your spouse’s. You cannot measure your own contributions because you do plenty that your wife or...
We gave away a bunch of furniture last week. One couple returned three times. I loved watching them. I loved getting rid of some of the extra stuff we just don’t need, but I especially loved their teamwork in maneuvering the larger items out of the house. Not every couple works well as a team. My husband and I, for example, do not. After all these years together, we still cannot guess what...
When you’re thinking others have a great marriage and yours is so-so or worse, what do you imagine a great marriage would feel like? I think a great marriage feels like swing dancing. It’s not static and unchanging. It’s being pushed away and pulled back with just the right tension in the bonds connecting you. It’s being wrapped in a hold then spun back out on your own...
While the kids were young, Tom earned most of the money he and Selena and their two girls lived on. Now that the girls are in middle school, Selena’s earning a bit more. For Tom, this feels like the ideal time to start his own business if he’s ever going to do it. If it fails, he can be back in someone else’s employ before the girls are applying to colleges. If it succeeds the...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
