The Assume Love Philosophy

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This, in a nutshell, is the Assume Love philosophy: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.
In other words, don’t work on your relationship. Help yourself enjoy being married. What you do for your relationship when you enjoy it will never feel like work.
Save your ideas for making your spouse a better husband or wife until you have fully opened yourself to receive the love already offered you, even if it does not match what you expected.
Don’t ask a friend or therapist to choose which of you is right. You are both right, even when you disagree. Ask instead for help finding Third Alternatives to make both of you happy.
Assume Love. Expect Love. Find Third Alternatives.
That is it in a nutshell. If you have just discovered this blog thanks to Stu Gray’s Top Ten Marriage Blogs contest or the article in this month’s Working Mother magazine, welcome! I am so glad you have joined us.
Please use the Comments section to ask a question, share a tip, or just say hello at any time. So glad you have joined us.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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