Does it drive you bonkers that your husband never runs the vacuum cleaner just because it needs doing? Are you annoyed to tears when he steps over a bit of sock lint on the floor without picking it up? Do you start pondering divorce when he sticks flowers in a vase without first dusting out the inside of the vase? Are you furious if your husband brings home the wrong brand of diced tomatoes when...
You know how you start thinking you’re doing the bulk of the chores? Or that you’re stuck with way too many on top of your exhausting paid job? You are not alone. Most wives feel this way. And so do most husbands. How can this be? Surely one of us is trying to put something over on the other. Surely one of us needs to pick up the pace a bit and relieve our mate, no? Not really. Even...
This, in a nutshell, is the Assume Love philosophy: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. In other words, don’t work on your relationship. Help yourself enjoy being married. What you do for your relationship when you enjoy it will never feel like work. Save your ideas for making your spouse a better husband or wife until you have fully opened yourself to receive the love...
If you are trying to answer this question, I can help. This is how to tell if the person you married is the right one for you. Stop expecting anything but love. Watch who emerges. If you are with the wrong person, it is not likely some right person awaits your desertion of the wrong one. If this is the wrong one, all the chores, all the bills, all the parenting responsibilities, all the social...
If you Assume Love when upset by your mate and you Expect Love to show up in forms you never dreamed up, you will inevitably overlook one or two of your spouse’s failings. You won’t overlook crushing debt or being shoved or burned with a cigarette, but you might overlook an unkind word intended as an insult. You might overlook a missed anniversary or a failed promise to pick up your...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
