Married to a Doormat


If you’re someone with a lot of strong opinions, you might find it convenient to marry a “go along to get along” partner — for a while. You’ll be the one choosing who does what, where you vacation, which friends you see, what big purchases the two of you make, all sorts of things. It may even feel like you’ve married someone who’s ultra-compatible with...

Marriage in Trouble? Don’t Work Too Hard at It


When the resentment level was rising quickly in my first marriage, I heard lots of advice about working harder at being married. So I did. And when it didn’t work, the resentment rose twice as fast, until I knew I could stand no more. No one said to me what I will say to you today. Unless you’ve been staying away, sleeping with someone else and leaving your spouse with all the chores...

Worrying is Not a Love Language


You don’t worry about your spouse’s health, mental health, physical safety, career, and friendships because you love your spouse so much. It’s definitely not a measure of how much you love. And it’s certainly not a way to show your love. Think about this. When you show your husband or wife your love with a kindness, a kind word, a gift, your full attention, or an orgasm...

A Cure for the Frustrating Marriage


I’ll be doing a half-hour workshop by telephone at 12:30 Eastern time on Saturday, February 10, 2018. It’s free, and I invite you to join in. A Cure for the Frustrating Marriage Fed up with cleaning more than your share? Wondering what’s so hard about putting the seat down? Wishing just once something would happen without you doing all the planning or making all the phone calls...

For marriage book reviews and books by Patty Newbold, the author of Assume Love, visit:

5 Love Languages?


Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages books have helped so many couples. It’s so valuable to recognize that showing your love by being helpful can fail if your mate feels especially loved when she hears praise and enthusiasm. She may even take helpfulness, in the absence of the praise and enthusiasm that signified love and safety in her early years, as criticism of her ability to take...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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