I love this phrase, unnecessary divorce. Not a single one of us who has ever considered divorce thought ours was unnecessary. Not unless something convinced us to take another stab at loving the person we vowed to love—and we succeeded. How in the world can we tell, in the heat of our anger and fear and frustration, whether ours would be an unnecessary divorce? I have a way you might try...
What are you waiting for from your spouse? Are you waiting for more appreciation? More picking up after himself? More self-reliance when it comes to getting the computer and other electronics to work? Are you waiting for more foreplay? Less modesty in bed? Better meals? Some landscaping? Maybe weight loss? Or perhaps vacation planning? What would you do if you learned today for certain you will...
I was chatting with a couple of friends today. All three of us have had our crazy-making moments in our marriages. Some little change or thoughtless act sends us into a royal panic that makes us wonder if we’re getting a fair shake or if we ought to run for the hills. So we Assume Love, check for loving explanations of the behavior or words that freaked us out, and suddenly see the...
Right before my first husband suddenly up and died, all I could think was, “I love you, but I can’t stand this. I cannot stand my life with you.” I had no idea what to do. The therapist I had seen had no idea what to do. My husband certainly had no idea what to do. It wasn’t until my first morning as a widow that I suddenly knew what to do. May I share it with you? Here it...
If you changed your definition of fair, how would it change your marriage? What if you decided dish washing, lawn mowing, meal preparation, shopping, laundry folding, and oil changing don’t belong in your definition of fair? Without them, how fair is your marriage? What if you decided earning money has nothing to do with how fair your marriage is? Disregarding your incomes, your efforts to...
