I was chatting with a couple of friends today. All three of us have had our crazy-making moments in our marriages. Some little change or thoughtless act sends us into a royal panic that makes us wonder if we’re getting a fair shake or if we ought to run for the hills. So we Assume Love, check for loving explanations of the behavior or words that freaked us out, and suddenly see the...
Right before my first husband suddenly up and died, all I could think was, “I love you, but I can’t stand this. I cannot stand my life with you.” I had no idea what to do. The therapist I had seen had no idea what to do. My husband certainly had no idea what to do. It wasn’t until my first morning as a widow that I suddenly knew what to do. May I share it with you? Here it...
If you changed your definition of fair, how would it change your marriage? What if you decided dish washing, lawn mowing, meal preparation, shopping, laundry folding, and oil changing don’t belong in your definition of fair? Without them, how fair is your marriage? What if you decided earning money has nothing to do with how fair your marriage is? Disregarding your incomes, your efforts to...
Today, the daffodils in my front yard bloomed. So did the hillside of daffodils at the home of a friend well west of me. She called to tell me. Daffodils bloomed well east of me in New Jersey today. My artist friend posted a photo online. It is a gorgeous day, with a light breeze and a temperature more often enjoyed in May than four days before St. Patrick’s Day. I left my car at the Post...
The following is a comment I received today in reply to my 3 Ways to Get Your Wife’s Respect post on October 18, 2011. It is a classic situation, and I suspect the answer may help more than Drew, who left the comment. I made several mistakes during a one year period over seven years ago. Since I have been a model man and model father, she even gets ro stay home if she chooses. Now, after 7+...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
