No Support for Your Interests?

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I was listening again today to bestselling author Barbara Sher talking about H levels. She advises everyone wondering what they were put on this earth for or what would make them happier to check them.
When you see, hear, or taste something or picture yourself doing something, assign it an H level. On a scale from 1 (the lowest) to 10 (the highest), how happy does it make you? Pay attention to anything you rate 7 or higher and find a way to put more of it in your life.
Do you give drawing an 8? Stop right now and draw a picture of your hand. See how good that feels? Do old chairs elicit a 9 from you? Take 15 minutes to visit a nearby antique store and look for some.
Some will take a bit more effort, but don’t turn them into all-or-nothing choices. If a beach on a summer day is a 10 for you, go visit one ASAP. Sure, a week would be nice, but even three hours there will lift your spirits and remind you of who you are.
If your husband or wife or life partner rejects your invitation to join you, there is nothing wrong with your marriage or your passions. It is normal for all of us to have very different H levels.
What would be awful is if you let yourself live a life of 5’s and 6’s as a compromise. You need the ones that delight you, and the rest of us need you to explore them.
So what do you do if your spouse does not support or share in your interest? Meet people who do, and spend time with them. Not secretly, of course, but openly, maybe even with help from your wife or husband to find them.
If you catch some of their enthusiasm (how can you not?), you may even raise your H level and find even greater passion. Then you really know it is something you should be doing.
Almost all of us, your mate included, would give a 7 or better to seeing our spouses come alive, even if joining them in whatever they are doing would get a 1 or 2 from us. Separate the two. If you cannot share the interest, share your delight. Just save the technical details of why it’s so delightful for someone who shares your H level.

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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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