When to Leave

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Yesterday, I wrote about how to handle the annoying things your husband does. For two of them, ones that put you in danger, I suggested leaving.
Leaving is different from divorcing. Leaving is putting yourself out of harm’s way. It also puts your spouse out of harm’s way, preventing them from injuring or killing their spouse before they regain control over their mind and morals.
Husbands are not the only ones who can become dangerous. Wives can, too.
Bravo to 20-year-old Gabriel Burklund. MSNBC.com reports:

Gabriel said that he had asked his father to walk away from the marriage as the fighting worsened, telling him that “it might end up with someone dying.” His dad refused to go, he told the judge.

Whether you’re refusing out of stubbornness, anger, or concern, not going is unlikely to lead to a good outcome. Gabriel was so right to encourage his father to stop his battle with a woman who was losing a grip on herself.
Gabriel’s father, Michael, was described by his mother and siblings as a loving husband who “tried everything he could to save his marriage.” Everything, that is, except stepping out of the line of fire.
Now, Michael is dead, killed by his wife Dorleen with five bullets and three more in the back after she reloaded and he lay on the floor. Dorleen was sentenced Tuesday to life in prison plus one to five years for her weapon. She came across as delusional and “twisted” but guilty of a cold, calculated murder despite her claim of self-defense.
As Gabriel said:

“This didn’t happen because of one act. This happened because two people were in a war for years,” he said. “It could have been solved if they’d just separated. But neither, neither of them backed down.”

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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