If you changed your definition of fair, how would it change your marriage? What if you decided dish washing, lawn mowing, meal preparation, shopping, laundry folding, and oil changing don’t belong in your definition of fair? Without them, how fair is your marriage? What if you decided earning money has nothing to do with how fair your marriage is? Disregarding your incomes, your efforts to...
Ever feel so angry you want to break something or hurt someone? When you’re married to someone you love, you can balance your anger against your desire to protect your spouse. It makes it easier to anchor yourself instead of drifting on the currents of your anger. Ever feel like walking away from your job and your debts rather than do the hard work of making things right again? Being...
On the brink of throwing in the towel and filing for divorce? Diane Sollee of Smart Marriages (website of the Coalition for Marriage, Family, and Couples Education) has a page on what to expect and what else to try first. I highly recommend it. If,instead, your spouse is proposing divorce, she has another great page of resources for fighting a divorce. There are some irreparable marriages out...
Emotional abuse is a serious problem in any marriage, whether you’re dishing it out or taking it. Dr. Steven Stosny developed a unique and highly effective way to help both the abusers and the abused. Until now, if you wanted to learn it, you had to get yourself to Maryland or hope he took his Boot Camp on the road to a city near you. I just received an announcement from him today of a Love...
You want something. Your spouse objects, because he or she wants something else in the same time slot, with the same money, or in the same spot. You need a Third Alternative. You want what you want, and you want to be the sort of spouse who gives your mate what he or she wants, too. But what you each want is seldom the thing you each say you want. It is the feelings and the capabilities that...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
