Why Be Married? For the Anchor

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Ever feel so angry you want to break something or hurt someone? When you’re married to someone you love, you can balance your anger against your desire to protect your spouse. It makes it easier to anchor yourself instead of drifting on the currents of your anger.
Ever feel like walking away from your job and your debts rather than do the hard work of making things right again? Being married makes it easier to do it, because you’re doing it for someone else who matters, even when the job or the obligations feel like they don’t matter. It’s an anchor that keeps you from drifting into irresponsibility and its penalties.
Ever dread dealing with other human beings and want to withdraw? When you’re married, it’s harder to withdraw. You have more relatives, and you have someone who can speak for you when you need a break. Marriage provides the anchor that keeps you working on relating to other people so you do not drift into depression.
Ever tempted to take the easy way out and lie or cheat? Marriage anchors you to your better self, if only to protect your spouse.
Many fear marriage will become a ball and chain. Instead, it becomes an anchor when you need one. Why be married? To be the person you hoped you would become by setting anchor when the winds blow.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

2 Comments

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  • Patty
    I just had to share I love this post so much that I linked to it on my blog I hope you don’t mind but this is just so true and your blog just inspires me to be a better wife every day. Thank you

  • Brook, I am honored. Please feel free to link to anything on the blog or even to copy it to your blog, as long as you give me credit for writing it and link to my blog. I enjoyed the opportunity to visit your blog and meet your wonderful family.

By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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