In yesterday’s Wall Street Journal, Lunch Break columnist Elizabeth Bernstein offered great hope to anyone in a less-than-perfect marriage. She reported the results of a study by Howard Markman, one of the marriage education greats I have studied with. His lab at the University of Denver followed 300 couples for five years after receiving marriage skills training. One month after training...
We all have our love languages. Before we can talk, we discover the ones that work for us. And before we know it, we’re married to someone with a different love language. Sure, you could try to explain to your mate how to love you your way, but my approach is a whole lot easier and more likely to feel like you’re being loved: Gift lover married to a quality time giver? Transition into...
I’ll bet there is something you often want from your spouse but almost never get. For one woman I know, it’s gratitude. A thank you, maybe some clue that he understands how much he needs her. Assume Love and ask why someone would never say thank you to a person he loves dearly. Acknowledging the incredible value of the relationship takes a lot of guts unless you are certain it’s...
You want to travel overseas. You’re married to someone who will not fly. You want to go back to school. Your spouse says, “We need you here.” Here might be the kitchen, the office, the store, or even the bank account. You want to spend Saturdays hiking. You married someone whose idea of a hike is getting the mail from the mailbox. Marriage is not meant to be stifling. It is...
Many husbands and wives stand convinced they do not get a fair deal in their marriages. What do you think? “It is not fair that I work hard to earn all our income but I cannot unwind for the thirty minutes before dinner when I get home, because the kids have all have dirty faces and sticky hands and want lots of attention.” I know how to convert euros to dollars. How do you convert...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
