About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

2 Comments

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  • Love languages are very real and understanding them can be a very valuable tool for a marriage. I’ve read and evaluated my own love languages and have also identified my husbands. He is happy much of the time now because I stopped loving him in my own language and began to love him in his. However, I can’t get him to read the books or to understand that I have a different love language than he does and that I am often left wanting in the way of “feeling” loved. I know it’s there, because I can see that he is showing me in his own way & language. But yet, my deepest needs for that love assurance goes unsatisfied. I’m a date night and love letter girl and he is a massage and chore guy. Plenty of years to figure it all out, I guess 🙂

  • Look for Third Alternatives, Brooke, solutions that satisfy both of you. He won’t feel like he’s loving you if he’s setting up a date night, but he will if he’s taking care of a chore for you when he does it. What if you were to pick the romantic location or event and ask him to take care of making reservations, getting tickets, printing out directions, hiring a babysitter, etc.? You might also ask him, during a massage, to spell out “I love you” on your skin with his finger. Your delight might lead to more messages.
    Or write him a love note on the bathroom mirror and leave the lipstick out for reply messages in a day or two. If he writes one, let him know how good it makes you feel. If his love language is acts of service, it could easily become a regular act of service once he sees how appreciated it is.

By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

Read About

Recent Comments

Popular Posts

Visit Patty’s Other Site

Enjoy Being Married logo

Archives

Social Media