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Date Night and Your Love Language

I'm guessing you have read Gary Chapman's mega-bestseller, The Five Love Languages, by now. If not, hurry over to your nearest library or log into the Kindle Store today.

Knowing these five languages of love (gifts, acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time) will help you appreciate more of the love you're being given and ask for what you need from your husband or wife. They can also help you make your date nights even more fun.

Ed and I had a great daytime date night this week. Lunch at Jules Thin Crust Pizza (mine was Greek Salad Pizza, my current favorite) and a matinee showing of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen at the County Theater, plus a great walk on a beautiful spring day through this wonderful town we live in. Perfect!

We fit in a bunch of love languages: quality time together, physical touch (we were holding hands or snuggled together except while eating our pizza), gifts (we bought lunch and the movie tickets for each other), and even an act of service when he moved the car after we discovered I had parked it in a tow away zone. To wrap up a perfect package, he complimented me on my movie choice (he's our movie buff and usually makes the picks).

Of course, you don't need all five to make a great date night. You need the one or two that matter most to the two of you. Pair a gift (maybe a new water bottle in his favorite color) with some quality time together on a hike. Open the door for her (an act of service) or let him know how proud you are (words of affirmation) of his career when you go out to dinner. Leave your smart phone and worries at home (for quality time) or bring a bunch of flowers (a gift) while you go sailing.

There are so many ways to weave love languages into your post-wedding dating. Reserve a room at a B&B for some physical touch for yourself, and start the evening with a love letter (words of affirmation) for your beloved. Team up for an evening of acts of service for others (Habitat for Humanity, your local soup kitchen, hospital volunteers) and do something special for each other to get ready (wash and wax the car, wash his favorite jeans, bring home a quick and easy meal, hire the babysitter).

Use the comments section to share with us your own date night ideas that use Gary Chapman's five love languages. Your idea may save someone else's marriage.


This is so true... we have little kids so it's very difficult to get that time away... we make our "date nights" when the kids go to sleep. Every stage of marriage there is always a solution.

Patty, I love how you point out that more than one love language can be combined. By putting together some fun combinations, we can increase the impact.

Thanks, Rosemary.

What a great way to look at the five love languages in conjunction with each other. As my hubby and I get older, it seems that quality time and acts of service are becoming even more important for both of us.

In fact, he was terrific help this last week as we prepared to have my whole family for Easter dinner, even volunteering to do some of the cleaning chores I dislike, like cleaning the toilets. Now that's love!

Thanks for your great ideas.

Thanks, Beth. I always appreciate your updates and your blog about capturing the stories of our marriages and familes,

It's never easy for married couples to find time for each other, especially when there are kids that need attention, too. And incorporating these five love languages in date nights is a great way to maximize the little time you have to spend with each other. Thanks for this!

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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