When my son was little, he had a book I loved. It has a lot to do with assuming love. I just looked it up to give you the official title, which was Sherlock Hemlock and the Great Twiddlebug Mystery: or The Mystery of the Terrible Mess in My Friend’s Front Yard. Sherlock Hemlock, a Muppet detective, tried to deduce what had left behind birthday candles, crumpled wrapping paper, paper hats...
Alcohol abuse and alcoholism harm a lot of marriages. When we take those wedding vows, pledging to stick together in sickness or in health, do we also accept the drunken rages, lost wages, and self-inflicted depression? If staying and leaving were our only options, I would say no, we do not vow to accept all this harm. Fortunately, staying and leaving are usually not our only two options. Al...
I was so glad to receive a comment about yesterday’s post, wondering if I was injecting a bit of sarcasm. I was glad to receive it. I know this technique is a bit difficult to grasp. I welcome any opportunity to make it clearer, because I think it helps enormously. All by itself, and in just a few critical minutes, it can be the difference between divorce and renewed love for your spouse...
Assume Love is shorthand for a little technique that can turn your distressing marriage into a great one. Try it whenever you find yourself wondering if your mate could possibly still love you or be worthy of your love. All you do is ask yourself, “if this person still loves me completely and still possesses his or her best qualities, and I had no doubt of this, how might I explain what he...
I added some more categories to this blog today, to make it easier for you to find older posts about my main three marriage-fixing techniques, Assume Love, Expect Love, and Find Third Alternatives. All of these were previously lumped together under the How to Assume Love category. I hope you find the change helpful.
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
