A What If Marriage


What if you could have the marriage you really want? What would it be like? How would you feel? What could the two of you create together? How willing would you be to give your all for such a union? How much of what you’re trying to change in your current marriage would actually take you there? In the marriage you really want, is it necessary to keep score on who took care of which chores...

Teamwork between Partners


Are you good at teamwork? Do you communicate goals and strategies well? Do you dig in and do whatever needs doing? Can you take direction as well as giving it? Do you enjoy a job well done even more when you share the glory with others? Guess what? Not everyone does. Some love to be a star. Others can’t imagine that there might be some other goal or strategy than they one they are dutifully...

Berating Your Beloved


There are so many times when we believe the person we committed our life to should do something but doesn’t. It happens even in the best of marriages. After Brenda bought Christmas gifts for all of Gary’s nieces and nephews, she was dumbfounded that he refused to even accompany her to her cousin’s caroling party. When Gillian grew up, all the men in the neighborhood raked leaves...

A Book Recommendation


I have a great book to recommend to you if you’re trying to Assume Love and enjoy your marriage more. I was reading a post on Scott and Jenni’s Surrendered Marriage blog about assuming love this week, and one of the comments mentioned it. The commenter is another marriage blogger, Sojourner, writing the Not Easily Broken blog. The book is The Art of Possibility by Ben and Rose Zander...

For marriage book reviews and books by Patty Newbold, the author of Assume Love, visit:

Married with Problems


If you think there are problems in your marriage, you are probably right. Unless the problems are out of your control and threatening your wellbeing, you won’t move toward a solution by announcing there are problems. Instead, move closer. Look for things to love and admire about your spouse. Take a few extra seconds with your kisses, your compliments, and your thank yous. All three will...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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