Married with Problems
If you think there are problems in your marriage, you are probably right. Unless the problems are out of your control and threatening your wellbeing, you won't move toward a solution by announcing there are problems.
Instead, move closer. Look for things to love and admire about your spouse. Take a few extra seconds with your kisses, your compliments, and your thank yous. All three will make you feel closer and probably happier.
Let go of your expectations about how your mate would or should behave. Instead, find what you can to appreciate.
If something's missing, take the steps to add it. Don't mention that it's missing. Your spouse knows. If he or she also wishes it were not missing, your steps will be met with a huge sigh of relief.
When you mention what's bothering you, don't compare it to what you think is right. Compare it to what your spouse does wonderfully and make it clear you are asking for a favor. You are. Neither of you can lay claim to being right about how marriages should work. They only work when they work for both of you. Then follow up with gratitude for a past change or an expression of hope for a better tomorrow.
Not successful: "If you were a real man, you would have finished the bathroom renovation project by now. Don't even think about going hunting before that is done!"
A lot more successful: "I think you did a great job with the tile in the bathroom. It looks great now. It would mean a lot to me to have the new toilet in, too, in time for Thanksgiving. I know I'm asking you to change your way of doing things again, and I really appreciated when you did that for me while we were driving to Michigan. If you can, I think I'll be a much calmer hostess when your folks come to visit.
Will it get you a new toilet, less time on the computer after dinner, and a little more romance on your anniversary? Maybe. Maybe not. But it will get you a lot more than talking about your problems or snooping to confirm them will.