A What If Marriage

A

What if you could have the marriage you really want? What would it be like? How would you feel? What could the two of you create together? How willing would you be to give your all for such a union?
How much of what you’re trying to change in your current marriage would actually take you there? In the marriage you really want, is it necessary to keep score on who took care of which chores? If not, all your worries about this score just get in the way of that marriage.
If you had that marriage, if you felt that much love between you, if you were offered love and gratefully received it all, if you woke every morning wanting to give all the love you could to your spouse, would it matter if you conveyed your love and intentions through conversation, through sex, through love letters, or through body language? If not, why are you keeping score of how much you do any of these?
The way to great love is through creating possibilities, never through setting limits.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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  • I’m glad to see Sandy couldn’t stop you from getting this post up! Thanks for offering these worthwhile questions to ponder. They serve as a great motivator to me to work on creating loving possibilities with my husband instead of focusing on what I’m not getting from him.

  • We made it through Sandy. Our power loss was very brief. We feel for all our friends who have been without power much longer and for all those people who lost their homes or had to evacuate theirs.
    I am pondering these questions, too, Lilian. I hope you will share your answers to them.

By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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