CategoryMarriage problems

How Do Married Couples Avoid Drifting Apart?


So many divorced people will tell you they and their husband or wife “just drifted apart.” They went from the intensity of “Will you marry me?” to “For better or worse until death do us part” to “Don’t wait up for me.” How do the long-married folks avoid this? They do things together. And they make a habit. But not a boring, repetitive habit...

The Caregiver Spouse


When we marry, we promise “in sickness and in health.” Becoming a caregiver is part of the package. Having a caregiver if we become temporarily or permanently incapacitated is also part of the package. It’s a great deal. However, when it’s time to step up, nothing’s as easy as we hoped when we made this promise. In fact, it’s not even easy to be the recipient...

When Your Mother-in-Law Drives You Nuts


‘Tis the season for family get-togethers. Many don’t go as well as we’d like. Fights between spouses often result, but most can be avoided. Remember when your husband or wife gets together with Momma, either of them can slip, unaware, into a role from their past. Your spouse may: Become that 5-year-old whose adult responsibilities are all handled by Mommy Compete like an 8-year...

Don’t Take It Personally


A friend contacted me recently, upset. Or pre-upset, if we can declare this a word. Her husband would be miserably uncomfortable the next day, doctor’s orders, and she knew this would make him say mean things to her. It always did. Her Love Language is Words of Affirmation. There would be none tomorrow. Instead, there would be grumbles, complaints, calls to hurry up or move aside, maybe...

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3 Quick Ways to Improve Your Marriage


When the two of you draw farther apart each week or the marriage feels more unfair every day, you can change your experience of it. Here are three quick ways to improve your marriage. Do less of whatever makes you angry. If it’s something you can’t get out of, like filing taxes or changing diapers, do less of something else you don’t enjoy, like washing dishes. (Paper plates...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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