Life gets hard. If we’re married, it’s easy to see our spouse as the cause of whatever we are struggling with. Even if the person we married doesn’t cause the problem, their failure to do anything about the problem hurts. So, how do we know when it’s time to throw in the towel? I think one way is to look at all the things spouses do on a spectrum, a color gradient...
If you’re a wife in the US, what’s your legal protection if your husband takes a mistress and spends money to support her? It depends on the state you live in. Some say this is grounds for divorce. Others will grant a divorce only after you two have been separated for a certain period of time. Some say it’s grounds for your financial needs to prevail in a divorce. Others say...
The other day, someone mentioned checking a spouse’s phone, and my hair stood up. What a terrible idea. Let me share some reasons to avoid checking what’s on there unless your husband or wife invites you to do so. Reason 1: Nothing Good Can Possibly Come from This If you’re wondering whether your spouse is cheating on you, and you find no evidence of it on the phone, you know...
Every healthy marriage manages a balance between independence and interdependence. Research suggests that a bit more than half of us handle this naturally. The rest of us must pay a bit more attention, because it’s not our natural style. Psychologists call the ability to naturally notice and make corrections in this balance a secure attachment style. When you’re both busy doing your...
So many divorced people will tell you they and their husband or wife “just drifted apart.” They went from the intensity of “Will you marry me?” to “For better or worse until death do us part” to “Don’t wait up for me.” How do the long-married folks avoid this? They do things together. And they make a habit. But not a boring, repetitive habit...
