CategoryMarriage problems

5 Reasons Not to Check Your Spouse’s Cellphone


The other day, someone mentioned checking a spouse’s phone, and my hair stood up. What a terrible idea. Let me share some reasons to avoid checking what’s on there unless your husband or wife invites you to do so. Reason 1: Nothing Good Can Possibly Come from This If you’re wondering whether your spouse is cheating on you, and you find no evidence of it on the phone, you know...

Balancing Independence and Interdependence in Marriage


Every healthy marriage manages a balance between independence and interdependence. Research suggests that a bit more than half of us handle this naturally. The rest of us must pay a bit more attention, because it’s not our natural style. Psychologists call the ability to naturally notice and make corrections in this balance a secure attachment style. When you’re both busy doing your...

How Do Married Couples Avoid Drifting Apart?


So many divorced people will tell you they and their husband or wife “just drifted apart.” They went from the intensity of “Will you marry me?” to “For better or worse until death do us part” to “Don’t wait up for me.” How do the long-married folks avoid this? They do things together. And they make a habit. But not a boring, repetitive habit...

The Caregiver Spouse


When we marry, we promise “in sickness and in health.” Becoming a caregiver is part of the package. Having a caregiver if we become temporarily or permanently incapacitated is also part of the package. It’s a great deal. However, when it’s time to step up, nothing’s as easy as we hoped when we made this promise. In fact, it’s not even easy to be the recipient...

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When Your Mother-in-Law Drives You Nuts


‘Tis the season for family get-togethers. Many don’t go as well as we’d like. Fights between spouses often result, but most can be avoided. Remember when your husband or wife gets together with Momma, either of them can slip, unaware, into a role from their past. Your spouse may: Become that 5-year-old whose adult responsibilities are all handled by Mommy Compete like an 8-year...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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