CategoryMarriage problems

What Did You Say?!

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A reader recently asked me a question, and I expect she’s not the only one asking. I have been watching couples/friends get into arguments they didn’t want to get into, simply because the discussion began on the wrong foot. Instead of asking an open ended question, e.g., “It seems cleaning up after dinner is a task neither of us wants to do. I wonder how we can solve this...

The Fairness Balance in Marriage

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You know that feeling when you feel so generous to your spouse? When everything you do for your spouse or give to your spouse makes you feel even better about your marriage? And that feeling when you take score and wonder if you would be better off if you two just divorced? For example, when your mate was too tired or busy to mow the lawn but still expects you to prepare dinner? Why not take...

Annoying In-laws

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Do your in-laws show up unannounced at all the wrong times? Do they demand to share all of your vacations? When your spouse is not around, do they criticize you or order you around? When your children are around, do they undermine you? It can help to see things through their eyes. A long time ago, a tiny infant was placed in their care. They were charged with keeping this tiny child safe and fed...

Nudity, Porn, Pigs, and Chicken Wings

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I had an interesting chat with someone today that led me to think about all the moral differences couples encounter and how they handle them. If you’re in an arranged marriage, there is a good chance your relatives thoroughly checked out your spouse’s morals before you married. And maybe they even knew which ones truly mattered to you. If not, you probably fell in love before you even...

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Should We Call It Quits?

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Life gets hard. If we’re married, it’s easy to see our spouse as the cause of whatever we are struggling with. Even if the person we married doesn’t cause the problem, their failure to do anything about the problem hurts. So, how do we know when it’s time to throw in the towel? I think one way is to look at all the things spouses do on a spectrum, a color gradient...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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