The Five Love Languages illuminate so much of the craziness in marriage. This month, millions will try to buy gifts for their life partners. Some will give up before they start, utterly baffled by those of us who see love in a beautifully wrapped package of something just for us. Find them standing under the mistletoe, looking forward to the kisses, hugs, back rubs, and sex that say love to them...
This, in a nutshell, is the Assume Love philosophy: put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. In other words, don’t work on your relationship. Help yourself enjoy being married. What you do for your relationship when you enjoy it will never feel like work. Save your ideas for making your spouse a better husband or wife until you have fully opened yourself to receive the love...
If you are trying to answer this question, I can help. This is how to tell if the person you married is the right one for you. Stop expecting anything but love. Watch who emerges. If you are with the wrong person, it is not likely some right person awaits your desertion of the wrong one. If this is the wrong one, all the chores, all the bills, all the parenting responsibilities, all the social...
Enjoy a tip from the widow’s handbook. For the next 48 hours, try this. Whatever you remember and whatever happens, imagine it will never happen again. Good or bad, past or present, it will never happen again. As the two of you take a walk together, imagine this is your last chance. You will never be able to walk together again. What sort of walk will you want to remember for the rest of...
If you Assume Love when upset by your mate and you Expect Love to show up in forms you never dreamed up, you will inevitably overlook one or two of your spouse’s failings. You won’t overlook crushing debt or being shoved or burned with a cigarette, but you might overlook an unkind word intended as an insult. You might overlook a missed anniversary or a failed promise to pick up your...
