Sarah posted a comment this morning on my Should I Stay Married for the Kids? post with a really great question. Here is what Sarah wrote: I love the idea that “An expectation is a premeditated resentment”; it has me thinking. On one hand I think it is a great idea, but on the other hand I feel that if we should “Never settle for being a doormat” then we have to have...
I did not know back then. I know now. Everything we expect of marriage gets in the way of being loved, except love. Expect love.
While you wait for the help with housework or errands you expected, listen for the caring words you expected, wait for company for something you expected to do together, mourn the expected gifts you never get, or wait for an expected hug or caress of the hand, you miss out on everything else your husband or wife wants to offer you as soon as you prepare your heart to receive it without a...
About your marriage, that is. You can. The three secrets I discovered a day too late put a lot of power in your hands. Secret #1: Assume Love. When something happens that makes you wonder if your wife has no respect for you, if your husband no longer cares about you, or whether you ought to stay together, Assume Love. Your lizard brain, the one that protected so many of your ancestors who lived...
Remember how easy it was to think of ways to be kind or generous to your husband or wife back when you were dating? Remember how you ate that stuff up when he or she did things for you? Remember how you could do something nice without expectations and still be surprised and delighted when something nice happened in return? What stops you from doing those things and enjoying those benefits today...
