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What if You Knew It Would Never Happen Again?

Enjoy a tip from the widow's handbook. For the next 48 hours, try this. Whatever you remember and whatever happens, imagine it will never happen again. Good or bad, past or present, it will never happen again.

As the two of you take a walk together, imagine this is your last chance. You will never be able to walk together again. What sort of walk will you want to remember for the rest of your life? What will you want your spouse to remember? How can you make it that sort of shared walk?

If you are still angry because your spouse showed up late for dinner with your parents, imagine he or she will never show up for dinner with them again. How much time do you want to spend with this anger now?

If you are having lunch together, imagine this is the last time you will both be able to have lunch together like this. In the future, you will dine alone or perhaps need to feed your spouse and remind him or her to swallow. Will your mind be focused on your next chore as you eat this final shared lunch? Will you pay more attention to the mayonnaise than your marriage?

As you go off to work and know your spouse will be able to have a leisurely coffee after you leave, imagine this is the last time. You may suddenly be unable to work, or the two of you may suddenly have a large uninsured loss, forcing both of you to work more hours or take better paying jobs you cannot stand. Right now, the last time things are like this, will you begrudge your spouse this quiet cup of coffee?

For those of us who have lost a spouse right in the middle of the busiest part of our lives, and for those of us who have been hit with a catastrophe that changes everything, the reassessment over the next month or two (or twelve) is tough. We ask ourselves constantly how we could have overlooked what we had.

To those of you who have never experienced this, we say, "Wake up! Waste no time. There is so much love to be had. Never pass up the opportunity to receive it."


This is a really beautiful idea, thanks!

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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