The slow and uncertain route to a happy marriage looks like this: Do the things a good wife or a good husband should do. Make sure your spouse knows what you expect him or her to do. Schedule time to talk about your distress when you’re unhappy. If things get tense, make sure you protect your assets and your feelings, just in case there’s a divorce. Always check whether your friend or...
Well-meaning friends often say, about whatever complaint we have toward a husband or wife, “You deserve better.”
Is it true?
Is the confirmation helpful?
If you did not deserve it, what might you do to rediscover happiness and closeness with your husband or wife in spite of your disagreement about what he or she ought to do?
Yesterday, on The Generous Wife, Lori wrote a great post about the value of getting to know more about the parts of your husband’s life you don’t share. She recommended listening, asking questions, and learning a new shared vocabulary. She gave the example of her husband’s fascination with zombies. One of the commenters, Lisa, asked a question so many of us have asked at some...
Do you have a list of things you are not getting from your husband? I did, right before my first marriage came to a crashing halt. I had a long list. It was the list of a married woman. Single women have a different sort of list. They pay their bills, clean their bathrooms, shop for clothes, even raise children without a husband. What’s on their list? Love. Someone to know them. Someone to...
Every year brings a new opportunity to decide who we will become next. Want to become a much happier person? Here is a technique that might help. List any one thing you wish your husband or wife would do to make you happier. For example, compliment your appearance more often or take over supporting your son’s interest in the violin. Write down why you think this will make you happier. For...
