Do you know your spouse’s main Love Language? If so, remember to use these two words often.
Quality Time – “I’m available.” Keep time free in your year, your month, your week, and your day. Make sure it’s truly free: no phone calls, checking your phone, running errands, zoning out, nothing but whatever it is that the most important person in your life wants to do with you then.
Acts of Service – “It’s done.” Choose anything on your spouse’s to-do list or wish list and do it. No groans. No drama about all the effort you’re putting it. Just a generous act of assistance, wrapped up with those two magic words: “It’s done.”
Physical Touch – “Feels good?” Use your hands, your arms, your lips, even your breath. Don’t save it for the bedroom. Hug often. Kiss when you can. Offer a trailer of coming attractions with a gentle touch. Do whatever feels good to your mate who craves to feel your love up close.
Words of Affirmation – “Well done!” Or any variation that acknowledges your delight in your spouse’s actions, strengths, appearance, or accomplishments. When your mate shares any good news, start with an unqualified “well done” and amplify: list his or her actions that contributed.
Gifts – “For you.” Obligatory gifts don’t feel like love. But even the smallest item does when it’s delivered when it’s clearly chosen especially for your partner in life or offered as an expression of the loving feelings you have for him or her right this moment. Be obvious that it’s “for you.”
Why should you do any of these things if your wife or husband fails to do the same for you with your Love Language? Because no two people are always at the same point in their sine waves of feelings for each other, and you cannot withhold your way to a great marriage, but you can always lift your marriage up to a higher level. Besides, it feels really great to be loving when you’re not stuck in resentment.