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How to Have a Successful Marriage

I have to applaud Long Island Bride and Groom magazine. In with all the gorgeous gowns and wonderful venues on New York's Long Island, they offered about-to-be-weds tips for continued success after the wedding.

The article, Happily Ever After: How to Have a Successful Marriage, appears in their February 2012 edition (page 359 in print, 363 online). They solicited critical items to discuss before the wedding from relationship advice authors April Masini, Jacqueline Del Rosario, Jan Harrell, Piet Dreiby, Andrew Shrage, Cathi Brese Doebler, Taffy Wagner, and me. It's a great bunch of topics for anyone getting married to discuss before their wedding.


How to know He Or She Is Just Not There For You.
If you've been dating for more than six months and you can't count on him or her to come and get you if your car breaks down, or to be your date for New Year's Eve, or even to feed your goldfish when you're away on a business trip, then you don't have a solid get more advice on marriage and relationship log on to Get more Now

Every day, folks use the comments on this blog to attempt to post ads for their own sites. Most are not so blatant. I am publishing this one from a Nigerian scammer (with the links disabled) just so I can comment on the advice. I think a lot of people looking for love have been fed this sort of advice, and I want better for them.

This advice is appropriate only for someone whose Love Language is acts of service. Others probably would call upon friends or relatives for emergency rides, New Year's Eve celebrations, and goldfish feeding, as long as they got the gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, or quality time they need to feel loved.

The advice is also inappropriate if acts of service make you feel loved, but you see in this person Character Strengths that make it worth relying on a secondary Love Language the two of you share.

When you go into a marriage with a list of expectations of how you will be shown love, you limit your opportunities for happiness. Adopting someone else's expectations is like tying your ankles together before you take that romantic walk on the beach at sunset.

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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