When you get married, pay close attention to all that is good and right about the person you choose. Pay close attention to the ways this wonderful man or woman makes you feel great about life, about love, and about yourself. Your new husband or wife will someday reveal weaknesses, envy, selfishness under stress. Those will be temporary. The goodness, the integrity, the honesty, the justice, the...
What do you remember most about when you first met your husband or wife? Other than the physical attraction, what impressed you? Was it his or her zest for living? Integrity? A great sense of humor? That love of learning? His or her leadership skills? Or sense of responsibility for the poor or the environment or the members of his or her team? Was it surprising creativity? Great kindness or...
Emotional abuse can do just as much harm as physical abuse. While anyone can hurt you physically, someone who knows you as well as your husband or wife does has a real advantage when it comes to doing emotional harm. What is emotional abuse? It is using whatever causes a person fear, anxiety, embarrassment, shame, or rage for the purpose of manipulating them. If you argue with your spouse to the...
Alcohol abuse and alcoholism harm a lot of marriages. When we take those wedding vows, pledging to stick together in sickness or in health, do we also accept the drunken rages, lost wages, and self-inflicted depression? If staying and leaving were our only options, I would say no, we do not vow to accept all this harm. Fortunately, staying and leaving are usually not our only two options. Al...
If your marriage is like most, there are things about your spouse that upset you. Because they upset you, you spend more time thinking about them. Guess what this does to the quality of your time together? Want better? Mentally go through the next 24 hours of your life. What would you miss if your spouse were suddenly no longer in it? No divorce. No splitting up your assets. You have full custody...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
