Do you know your spouse’s main Love Language? If so, remember to use these two words often. Quality Time – “I’m available.” Keep time free in your year, your month, your week, and your day. Make sure it’s truly free: no phone calls, checking your phone, running errands, zoning out, nothing but whatever it is that the most important person in your life wants to...
Until I was so suddenly widowed, I did not understand fairness in marriage. I was feeling in the months before his death that I was stuck with the lion’s share of the effort. It felt so unfair. It’s hard to enjoy being married with a feeling like that, and I imagined the cure was for him to assume more of the responsibility and effort. I was wrong. The day after his death, this became...
Personally, I think the best time to get married is when you’ve met another human being of good character and seen them in action in multiple situations where respect, caring, commitment, humility, fairness, patience, or playfulness are called for, and you really like what you have seen. That usually takes a year or more. Occasionally, in very trying times, it can happen more quickly. Love...
You are not really safe if you’re sharing your life with someone who does not love you. You could be swindled. You might suddenly find your bank accounts emptied or huge credit card debts in your name or a big tax bill on income you knew nothing about. You could find yourself alone in your now unfurnished apartment without a car or a clue where your spouse went or why. You could find your...
What if other people find it easier than you to be married “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,” just because the first couple years of their lives were different from yours? “I’ve got your back” sounds reassuring to the majority of people. And not too much to ask in return. They have what we call a Secure Attachment Style. They...
