Small annoyances can become big marriage problems. What do I mean by small annoyances? Socks on the floor, cap off the toothpaste, water on the counter, putting a milk container with just one ounce of milk back in the refrigerator without buying more or putting it on the shopping list, leaving things on the passenger seat of the car, going missing while you’re shopping, getting out of bed...
Do you know your spouse’s main Love Language? If so, remember to use these two words often. Quality Time – “I’m available.” Keep time free in your year, your month, your week, and your day. Make sure it’s truly free: no phone calls, checking your phone, running errands, zoning out, nothing but whatever it is that the most important person in your life wants to...
Until I was so suddenly widowed, I did not understand fairness in marriage. I was feeling in the months before his death that I was stuck with the lion’s share of the effort. It felt so unfair. It’s hard to enjoy being married with a feeling like that, and I imagined the cure was for him to assume more of the responsibility and effort. I was wrong. The day after his death, this became...
Personally, I think the best time to get married is when you’ve met another human being of good character and seen them in action in multiple situations where respect, caring, commitment, humility, fairness, patience, or playfulness are called for, and you really like what you have seen. That usually takes a year or more. Occasionally, in very trying times, it can happen more quickly. Love...
You are not really safe if you’re sharing your life with someone who does not love you. You could be swindled. You might suddenly find your bank accounts emptied or huge credit card debts in your name or a big tax bill on income you knew nothing about. You could find yourself alone in your now unfurnished apartment without a car or a clue where your spouse went or why. You could find your...
