I was surprised by my sadness right after the birth of my only child. Such a beautiful moment, but I felt like I had lost something. My husband and I had no preference for a girl or a boy, so we did not ask which it would be in advance. However, in those last two weeks of waiting, we both became convinced it was a girl, and we began calling our overripe belly bump Sara. When our gorgeous, healthy...
Dinner with your spouse is a great time to deepen your connection. Here are some tips for making those conversations more engaging. Respond positively whenever your spouse seeks your attention the rest of the day through comments like “Look at that bird!” (“Ooh, wow” is plenty, as long as you look in the bird’s direction) or “I can’t find my keys”...
In a comment on my last post, The Easiest Way to a Happier Marriage, Clover asked a great question: I agree that we shouldn’t expect our partners to act exactly the way we want them to – they’re not robots. And no one really owes us anything.But sometimes it’s really hard to maintain this mindset. With my friends and family, I care about their feelings more than my own. For example, if they don’t...
The easiest way to a happier marriage does not include changing your spouse. Spouses are hard to change. Even when they know what you want from them, it can be hard for them to give it. Accusations about their failures to provide what you expect will get you defensiveness from all but the most self-aware spouses, because it’s a threat to their core relationship. Defensiveness is not pretty...
If you are looking for a way to reconnect with your husband or wife, this GoodTrade article has some ideas on where to do it. They list five top resorts for couples retreats. Here is their list: The Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, for couples looking for workshops on relationship skills or personal transformation. You’ll find lots of choices in lodging types and workshops, and the...
