The tiny amygdala buried deep in each half of our brains has a lot to do with our emotions and our emotional memories. And sex hormone levels drive a lot of the amygdala’s responses, as you may have noticed when a dirty athletic sock on the kitchen table set off bottle rockets just before your period. Nicole Petersen (UCLA and UC Irvine) and Larry Cahill (UC Irvine) wondered what happens...
One common thread I notice in the stories of those who have initiated divorces is what they gave up while married. They usually return to it with some glee after the divorce. Many of these things are creative: painting, photography, poetry, pottery. Others are risk-taking: helicopter skiing, small plane flying, bungee jumping, unescorted travel in third world or less safe countries. Some are...
Is it over? Is it worth repairing? Can things get better? Here is how to tell. Are you married to someone who keeps you afraid to step out of line? Do you fear getting hit, bullied, locked up, or torn down with words designed to hit your most vulnerable spots? Or are you aware your spouse has cheated on you repeatedly? If so, only your spouse can save this marriage, and it’s going to take a...
When you are trying to make sense of something upsetting that your husband or wife does, I always suggest you first Assume Love. In other words, try setting aside your fears about the possible reasons for what happened for a moment to see if there is any explanation for a good man or woman who loves you completely doing this same thing. But there is no need to even try on this notion if...
Most of us go about this the wrong way, especially early in our marriages. Let’s say you want your husband to take the trash out before the pickup time, wash the dishes after you cook a meal, or spend more time teaching your kids baseball skills. Here’s what works best with most husbands. 1. Ask, Don’t Tell When you tell your husband what to do, you sound more like a mother than...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
