I’m not sure why this never occurred to me when I was contemplating a divorce, so maybe it hasn’t occurred to you, either.
If something’s missing in your marriage—romance, conversation, encouragement, quality time together, children, pleasant surprises, shared interests, help with errands or chores, physical touch, compliments, whatever—give some thought to this. How will get more of it after the divorce?
It’s hard to find another mate, much harder than you might remember if you last looked for one while in school. You might be on your own for quite some time. How will you get this need met after you’re divorced? What will you try?
You just might want to try those things now, while you’re still married.
ZING! Nailed it, Patty.
One of the things I point out to others, too… usually along with the question of, “Well, have you been very specific and clear in trying to TELL your spouse what you need more of first… or are you just waiting around thinking they should just somehow magically know without you telling them?”
A LOT of people do that I think, especially us women. And ESPECIALLY if we were raised by emotionally immature or absentee, toxic parents. We had no role models, only so-called adults concerned with having us meet their needs–never teaching us about how to lovingly share our own.
I did myself until I realized one day, oh my gosh, I am waiting for the man to somehow magically divine what I want from him? Why? Thanks for a great great post. Short but powerful.
Thanks for that great addition, Kiddo!