When you are looking for Third Alternatives (win-win endings to your disagreements), you must let go of the how to find the why. Let me show you what I mean. One wants to go by car. The other wants to go by plane. Why? One wants to go by car to see the countryside between points A and B. The other wants to go by plane to avoid being the driver on such a long drive. Third Alternatives? Ask a...
If you miss having time for fun together or time to talk, here are three quick ways to find more: Make plans in advance. Come up with something to look forward to or just block out the time for something spontaneous. Do in advance all the things that make it so hard to get out the door (or into the bedroom) for something unplanned. Question your givens. If your spouse is often available when your...
In Part 3 of this series, I want to address a comment added to Part 1. I want to address it because I remember thinking like the commenter around a dozen years into my first marriage, and it kept me from fixing my marriage or even believing it could be fixed. Here’s the first part of the comment, which Matt wrote but so many others could have, too. Well, since this IS the assume love...
This post is a continuation of Wednesday’s post, in which I asked what Janice should do next. She triggered an emotional outburst from her wife, Katy, with the question, “How much interest are we making on our savings account this year?” The Votes are In Here’s what you thought Janice’s best next move would be : 1 reader chose Defend her question as an innocent one...
Janice asks, “How much interest are we making on our savings account this year?” It’s a simple question, but the reply from her partner of 13 years and now her wife could inadvertently start World War III. “I don’t recall. But why do you care? You asked me to handle our finances. I’m handling them. Are you supervising me now?” The question hit a real...
