Assume Love (TM): How to have a happier marriage without waiting for your spouse to change (daisy logo)

« How to Make Yourself Unhappily Married | Main | Married to an Awful Gift-Giver? »

3 Ways to Find More Time Together

If you miss having time for fun together or time to talk, here are three quick ways to find more:

  1. Make plans in advance. Come up with something to look forward to or just block out the time for something spontaneous. Do in advance all the things that make it so hard to get out the door (or into the bedroom) for something unplanned.
  2. Question your givens. If your spouse is often available when your non-profit executive committee meets, look for ways to serve the cause at a different hour. If you're working different shifts, consider the possibility of changing your sleeping hours. If you have a long commute, consider ditching it for a job nearer to your sweetie.
  3. Break your together time into smaller chunks. Buy a notebook to keep track of conversations that must take place over six car rides instead of one long afternoons. Make up your own rules for a shorter version of your tennis game. Dance at home instead of making the drive to the club. Move closer to where you ride your bikes or take your hikes.
Watch out for the all-or-nothing trap. There is almost always a Third Alternative in which you get your time together without blowing off everything that competes with it.


Nice post. Short and simple, yet packed with terrific info. My wife and I quit our teaching jobs in 2005/2006 because we wanted more time together. Our happiness and productivity has been off the charts ever since.

My husband and I love dancing at home. I used to have to drag him to the dance floor at weddings! Great suggestion! Thank you for sharing.

I love hearing this, Tammy!

Post a comment

Your comment will appear only after Patty confirms it's not spam. Thanks for your patience, and bah humbug to those who submit all that junk for making good folks like you wait.

The Author

Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

Follow Us

Enjoy Being Married

The Best Marriage Bloggers
2011 Hot Marriage Blog Award - Liufu Yu |
Grow Your Marriage Award 2011 from The Generous Wife
Top Ten Marriage Blogs of 2011
Top Ten Marriage Blogs of 2010


Creative Commons License

This weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
TM Assume Love is trademark of Patricia L. Newbold