3 Ways to Find More Time Together

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If you miss having time for fun together or time to talk, here are three quick ways to find more:

  1. Make plans in advance. Come up with something to look forward to or just block out the time for something spontaneous. Do in advance all the things that make it so hard to get out the door (or into the bedroom) for something unplanned.
  2. Question your givens. If your spouse is often available when your non-profit executive committee meets, look for ways to serve the cause at a different hour. If you’re working different shifts, consider the possibility of changing your sleeping hours. If you have a long commute, consider ditching it for a job nearer to your sweetie.
  3. Break your together time into smaller chunks. Buy a notebook to keep track of conversations that must take place over six car rides instead of one long afternoons. Make up your own rules for a shorter version of your tennis game. Dance at home instead of making the drive to the club. Move closer to where you ride your bikes or take your hikes.

Watch out for the all-or-nothing trap. There is almost always a Third Alternative in which you get your time together without blowing off everything that competes with it.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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