I received this question by email recently, and it’s got three very familiar elements in it: I am reasonably neat and organized. Not obsessive and definitely not a clean freak but I like my papers organized and my home relatively tidy. My husband is one of the messiest people I’ve ever met. With his encouragement, I’ve organized his desk but it’s back to where it was...
As I wrote yesterday, I recently received a comment from Lorraine K, who wrote: Found your blog about a week ago and I have really learned a lot. I am wondering about third alternatives for future relationships because my S.O. and I broke up over two issues that I now think may have been avoided if we had found Third Alternatives. The first issue was about a few of his rude friends. My boyfriend...
I recently received a comment from Lorraine K, who wrote: Found your blog about a week ago and I have really learned a lot. I am wondering about third alternatives for future relationships because my S.O. and I broke up over two issues that I now think may have been avoided if we had found Third Alternatives. The first issue was about a few of his rude friends. My boyfriend didn’t want to...
I read about some interesting research recently that relates to Finding Third Alternatives. It showed just how much people like agreement and, even more, dislike impasse. Just labeling an option “Agreement” made people in a negotiating experiment more likely to choose it, even if it wasn’t their best option. But labeling an option “Impasse” had a bigger effect...
Today, someone shared with me that her #1 fear is this: I will risk my relationship with my fiancé to benefit my career — or that I will take tradeoffs in my career to benefit my fiancé’s career and be bitter later. So many of us have been trained well in techniques to help us choose between Thing 1 and Thing 2, which is fine when you’re by your lonesome. But once you are part...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
