If you have always thought you’re winning when you get your way and losing when you don’t, you will need to change your perspective to enjoy being married.
If you go along to get along when you disagree with your spouse, you know it puts a little extra distance between the two of you. It’s harder to feel close when you’ve just agreed to something you actually disagree with.
If you get what you want because your mate chose to go along to get along, it’s not much of a victory, but there’s still that loss of closeness.
When I congratulated a friend who has been facing a lot of disagreements over some pretty big decisions for her win when her husband enthusiastically endorsed her proposed joint purchase (even if he did not see it resolving one of their bigger disagreements, as she hoped), she downplayed the win because he won, too.
Guess what? Win-win is the only way you win an argument in a marriage.
