Assume Love’s 15th Anniversary

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Fifteen years ago today, on Valentine’s Day of 2006, I launched this blog to share some thoughts on marriage. I am so proud of the body of work that has followed. To see all of the posts, I hope you will visit the Archives.
My very first post, so that I could link to it in the sidebar ever since, was
Don’t Pretend Love
You Assume Love when you take a second look at what your spouse or life partner does as if you are well-loved.
You Pretend Love when you act as if you’re loved even though you don’t believe it.
When you Assume Love, you give yourself the chance to receive more love by looking beyond your instantaneous, gut-level reactions to events. You pay attention to what you know to be true. You stop yourself from jumping to conclusions. You do this for you, so that you don’t miss any love being offered to you.
There’s a good chance you’ll notice love where you didn’t see it before and want to show your spouse more appreciation as a result. That’s great! But it’s not required, and it probably won’t happen every time. When it doesn’t, pretending it did is not the solution.
Thank you and happy anniversary to everyone who began this journey with me and everyone who has joined in over the years! Assume Love will continue.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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