I know that some of you are not yet in a lifelong relationship. Here are a few tips on how to get there, assuming your parents won’t be arranging your marriage. Meet a lot of people, male and female. Those who are not potential mate material know others who are. Try to avoid falling in love too fast. It’s so much harder to break up if you’re already feeling in love. Don’t...
It is quite honorable to stay married for your children. It is also honorable to split if you cannot give them enough to benefit from married parents or if staying together puts them in danger. Children benefit from the sort of home two parents can afford to provide, one with better schools, safer recreation, safer neighbors. Children benefit from long-lasting relationships with the adults in...
Remember dating? One of the best parts was getting to know each other better. Whether you were dining out or waiting your turn at the bowling alley or miniature golf course, the best part was the talking. You needed no prompts. There was nothing more interesting than learning about this person you were falling in love with. Today, after a few years or decades of marriage, you may find that when...
What do you use as the benchmark for judging your marriage? I have two that work pretty well for me and one that I used to use and no longer will. Benchmark One – The Minimum Let’s start with the bare bones minimum benchmark: You have no reason to fear rape, broken bones, dislocated joints, bruises, pain, or uncensored angry or contemptuous words from your spouse. You have no reason...
Life falling into a rut? Finding yourself whining that you two don’t do much any more? Some simple tips for more fun: Invite or accept with enthusiasm. Mentally rehearse what could go right, not wrong. Give yourself time to shift gears before you go. Be fully present while you’re together. Watch for moments you want to remember. Savor the best parts of your time together later...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
