I know that some of you are not yet in a lifelong relationship. Here are a few tips on how to get there, assuming your parents won’t be arranging your marriage.
- Meet a lot of people, male and female. Those who are not potential mate material know others who are.
- Try to avoid falling in love too fast. It’s so much harder to break up if you’re already feeling in love.
- Don’t Assume Love when dealing with someone who has not promised to love you. Now is the time to be skeptical.
- End the relationship as soon as you discover a problem you could not live with. If you cannot bear to see butchered animals, date only vegetarians. If smoking disgusts you, date no smokers or recent quitters.
- Don’t date anyone with an active addiction to drugs, gambling, or alcohol.
- If you have a strong preference about whether or not to have children, don’t date anyone who does not share your preference. You might fall in love and need to face a tough choice.
- If you have a strong preference for putting down roots or living adventurously, don’t date anyone who does not share your preference. It’s not easy to merge the two.
- Pay attention to how anyone you date treats others they love: parents, grandparents, siblings, children, nieces, nephews. If it is not how you want to be loved, end it.
- Don’t expect you will be wooed after the wedding. But do take note of whether you are wooed most often with words, time and attention, gifts, helpfulness, or touch, because that is probably the way you will be shown love most often, too.
- Marry for character and the ability to thrive with or without money or good health, not for money or health.
- Marry someone whose family you like.
- Never, ever, ever propose or get pregnant to bolster a failing relationship.
- Develop hobbies you can do with other people. It’s the best way to meet people and a great way to ensure you will spend time together for decades.
- Practice gratitude. Happy people meet better potential mates, and gratitude makes you happier. It also goes a long way toward getting through the challenges in your marriage.
- Learn about marriage.
- Make loving a habit.
And remember, once you vow to love someone, your job is to love them, not to fix them. Choose wisely.
Those are my tips. If you’re already married and enjoying it, please add more.