Remember dating? One of the best parts was getting to know each other better. Whether you were dining out or waiting your turn at the bowling alley or miniature golf course, the best part was the talking.
You needed no prompts. There was nothing more interesting than learning about this person you were falling in love with. Today, after a few years or decades of marriage, you may find that when you turn off the talk about your jobs, home, and children, there is little to say.
This is a dangerous sign that you believe there is nothing more to learn, nothing to make you fall more deeply in love.
So here are some topics to try on your next date night:
- What makes you happy, especially what Barbara Sher calls H levels. Assign a number to everything you see and do for a couple days before date night, from 1 (awful) to 10 (extremely happy). Talk about anything that rates a 7 or higher, whether it’s a sunset, the shape of the seeds growing in a sunflower, the taste of turmeric, or the way you feel pulling back the string on your bow (or your bow on a string).
- Who you are grateful to from the year you turned 13 and why.
- A time before you met when you were at your very best.
- An item on your bucket list that you have never shared with your spouse.
- What you most admire about your favorite cousin.
- What sort of book you would write if you had time to write a book.
I promise you that you don’t know all there is to know yet about the person you married, and what there is to know has changed since you were first dating.
Let us know what you discover.
